Chicago Schools are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!

NAME____________________________________________________
GANG/CREW NAME_________________________________________
CRIB_____________________________________________________

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every
10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shooting. How many mofos can
Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload ?

2. Willie has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320
and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest
of his shit ?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per
day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit ?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20%
profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside ?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and
$1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many
more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?.

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his
common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will
be left when he gets out ?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average
letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz.
Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over ?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang.
What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up ?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor
that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a
week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's
income ?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan
loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece,
how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

Little Johnny speaks his mind once again.....

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school in North Carolina and he
visited a fourth grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings.

The teached asked the president if he would like to lead the
discussion on the word " tragedy"

One little boy stood up and offered: " If my best friend, who lives on
a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills
him, that would be a tragedy."

" No " said Obama, " that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: " If a school bus carrying 50 children
drove off a cliff, killing everyone- that would be a tragedy."

" I'm afraid not," explained Obama. " That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Obama searched the
room. " Isn't there someone here who can give
me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teached held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: " If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama
was struck by a ' friendly fire missile' and blown to smithereens that
would be a tragedy."

" Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. " That's right. And can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?"

" Well, " says Johnny, " It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as
hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it wouldn't
be an accident either!"

The teacher fainted

Amen

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a

“Living Will”

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine

and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."



His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong