Here is a riddle for the true intellectual.... Try to come up with the answer on your own.
However, the answer is at the bottom for those who are unable to think this one through.




Here's the riddle:

At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth.

One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor.

The other is getting oral sex from an 85-year-old toothless woman.

They are both thinking the exact same thing... What are they both thinking?


















Don't look down

Holiday Jokes :: #22260
By Paul Tomlinson from USA.

One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump - CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door - "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of robutusin and threw it - and the coffin stopped!

Holiday Jokes :: #22260
By Paul Tomlinson from USA.

One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump - CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door - "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of robutusin and threw it - and the coffin stopped!

Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #2695
By from USA.

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That"s the owner."


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Entertainment Jokes :: #1123
By Sweetness from Ontario Canada

Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an umbrella. The one with the car door said to the guy with the umbrella, "Why are you carrying that umbrella around, it isn't going to rain in the desert?" To which the guy with the umbrella replies, "Yeah”, but it keeps me out of the sun! By the way, why are you carrying around that car door, you don’t even have a car to go with it” The guy with the car door says, "yeah, well at least if I get too hot from the sun I can just roll down the window!"

Blonde on a plane

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO, WHEN A BLONDE

IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES

TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS,

AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID

FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT

SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT

AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT

THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO

SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY,

AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-P ILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE

AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE

SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL

HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.



THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING

WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE

WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE?

I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED

TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE".


HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND

WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS,

"OH, I'M SORRY," AND GETS UP AND GOES

BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGH T ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT

ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID

TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.



"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO' "

Dick and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Somerset, Kentucky.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Dick said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!'

Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?'

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.

The next morning Dick wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.

In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Jim.

Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?'

Dick says, 'I feel great, how about you?'

Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'

Dick says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..'

' Yeah, well there's just one thing.'

'What's that?'

'Have you farted yet?'

'No.'

'Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Tennessee'